I just been drooling over Rubychoo's Perfect Valentine's Menu - somebody please give me a recipe for Rosewater Sorbet with Chantilly Cream - what bliss.

And I smiled nostagically at her request for an diamond ring in a glass of champagne. How could any woman not fall at the feet of a man that arranged that charming gesture?

Well, I'll you who. It was the Tangoed Tart, that's who. One evening, I was out with a couple of girlfriends at a posh restaurant. The head waiter turned up with a couple of minions and proceeded to pour two glasses of champagne and placed them on the next table. He then produced a ring box from his pocket, and carefully deposited a ring in one of the glasses. I can't tell you how many carats - but I was temporarily blinded by the flash as it caught the candlelight.

Seconds later, a youngish couple came in and sat down at the table. She came from the Footballer's Wife Debutante Academy and looked like she had applied her foundation with a trowel. He looked like a banker. The waiter handed her the glass with the diamond ring.

Naturally, all attempts at conversation between me and my mates floundered as we shamelessly tried to eavesdrop. But somehow, we were distracted for a few moments - I expect the dessert menu arrived. For torn between the rival merits of Tarte Tatin, Delices de Chocolat, Creme Brulee etc., we missed out on an argument at the next table. Perhaps he tactlessly made reference to her orange sunbed glow by asking if she'd been Tangoed; maybe she realised with horror that she had inadvertently nibbled on a lettuce leaf. Whatever, she upped sticks and stormed out the restaurant, having only taken a sip of her champagne, with the banker in hot pursuit.

You know that scene in the spaghetti Westerns, where the about-to-be combattants eye each other up before reaching for their guns? That's the kind of good friends I was with that night. Fortunately, for the sake of our friendship, and the other diners' enjoyment of their Michelin two-starred dining experience, that pesky head waiter swooped in again and removed the glasses of champagne.

Did they make up and she get her ring, do you think? Or is Mrs. Head Waiter the envy of her friends and acquaintances?